Single Season.

"Why are you single?"

"You are so beautiful, I bet all of the guys want you."

Some days I do look in the mirror and say to myself "Damn girl why are you single?" But then I quickly remind myself that looks have nothing to do with your relationship status

or anything, if im being honest.

Yes, I do get hollered at by guys, but honestly you'd be surprised at how many actually have the courage to approach me in person. I get DM's from guys, but that never phases me because those same guys are in everybody's DM's, like my own sister, for example. Let’s be real..a lot of DM’s aren’t for guys to get to know us, they want to get to know what we have in between our legs, chile. You can tell when one does really want to get to know you, though...through experience with the trashy disgusting perverted ones of course. I’m good on that.

ANYWHOOOOO......

I am 22 years old and I have only had one boyfriend. Sounds crazy right? People think that I am lying when I tell them that, but it is the truth. I have never been the type of girl to seek attention from guys or feel like I need to be with somebody because I have always been comfortable in who I am and I was taught to never settle. Shocks me still that I even had one boyfriend, like how did that even happen? Although after a year, that relationship came to an end, it has taught me so much about myself, life, love, and so much more. I can’t lie....ya boy put me on game because we always had deep intellectual conversations about literally everything under the sun. One of the most important things that I learned though is that love requires vulnerability, compassion, grace, compromise, and understanding...true unconditional love that is. For me to even get to that place to call someone my boyfriend, I have to be extremely vulnerable and that is something that I have always had trouble being due to the fact that I had very few times growing up when I was allowed that opportunity to be vulnerable. Part of that is why I am single today. Other reason is because I had cloudy vision, extremely cloudy vision, stuck on unconscious hurt from the past and my hurt ass hurt him. He was there, trying to love me, but I pushed him away because I didn’t know how to properly deal with my pain. Yes, I can admit to that with ease.

I set my standards high! I mean high high! I believe wholeheartedly that God will grant you the desires of your heart as he said it hisself in the bible. I have been told by family and friends "Girl your dream man doesn't exsist!" But the gag is......HE DOES. I've seen so many people settle for less than just because being with somebody is better than being alone, and that is not how I live.

I believe that when God has someone for you, they are for you. There shouldn't be any forcing, any uncomfortable feelings, any questions about anything. With that being said, I'd rather let it happen on it's own than me force a relationship on anyone. I truly believe that when a male knows, he knows. Yes, they could run, but eventually it'll lead them in one of two places, alone with regret, or in love and happy that they took that step.

Relationships should bring out the best in you, ALWAYS! When it no longer does that, it doesn't mean that that person isn't necessarily the one for you, but maybe it is time to take a break because there is something changing within yourself, something new, something undealt with, something you have to have solitude to figure out. That in itself is why it is not too hard for me to be single at this moment in my life. Working on myself and preparing myeslf for when that love comes, I can accept it open armed is what I spend my single season doing. Does it get lonely sometimes, HELL YES! I mean, who wouldn't love to call their boo up after a long day of work and go hang out? Who wouldn't love to be in love? I take myself out to eat a lot and as I sit there at the table I always see people stare at me. Sometimes people are bold enough to come up and ask me if I’m waiting on someone or why am I there alone. I politely answer with a “no” or a “because I want to be.” Does it get annoying? YES! I would love to be like the couples that I see in the restaurants, but I am acceptant that it isn’t my season for that yet. I’m due time, it will come.

But, like I was once told, "You can't give what you don't have. You can't pour out of an empty glass."

I just said all of that to say this...

To my beautiful independent ladies,

IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE! No, nothing is wrong with you. No, you are not ugly. No, you don’t have to change anything about yourself. The right guy will come along and love you just for who you are and get this...even love the things that you hate about yourself. So with that being said, keep being beautiful and wait with dignity, with a smile on your face because I promise you, when he comes along he will be well worth the wait and you will be thanking God that you didn’t go out searching for him.

-Tia Renee‘