Everything You Lose Is NOT A Loss

It took me forever to get together my thoughts on this post..like literally weeks...why? Because it's definitiely another one of my "deep" blogs. Reflecting back on the years, I have realized that I took so many losses in all areas of my life, but where would I be without them? Definitely not where I am today, so everything that I have lost was well worth it.

As I am sitting here unwinding from a long, exhausting day of work, I felt prompted to write about the topic of losing. To start it off, today, I guess you could say that I took a major "L" at work because I had to create this extensive spreadsheet which took over 5 hours alone to complete because my previous work "mysteriously" got deleted. My boss said to me "Aww man...Tia we lost so much data...how are you going to get this whole spreadsheet done by the end of the day?" I looked at her with a look of disgust and said "I'll get it done somehow....I guess." To make this story short, after having to backtrack months of work, I got this spreadsheet done. I sat at my desk for my last two hours of work reflecting on what just happened (ya know, I'm the kind of person that goes into my focus zone and deal with the feels later). Sitting at my desk I challenged myself to write this blog because although I took a major loss at work it was not, in fact, a total loss. In the end, I learned that I needed to go back to creating backup documents on a cloud. Also, I was able to correct some mistakes that I would not have even known were there, therefore perfecting my work. Where am I getting with this? You see...I thought I lost, but in the end the challenge made my work stronger. Enough babbling on about work, but do you see what I was getting at?Although I had to sacrifice and neglect certain duties, I did not lose overall. These kinds of situations happen in all areas of life on a regular basis.

Everything you lose is not a loss. You failed that class for a reason, you weren't born rich for a reason, your relationship ended for a reason. You see there are some magical and humbling elements within losing. Although losing can be hurtful, traumatic, excruciating, and upsetting these are only temporary emotions that will eventually pass. I mean let's be real...two of the worst feelings in life are the feelings of rejection and disappointment. It only hurts so bad because we set expectations on certain situations to play out a certain way and put so much effort into it working out the way that we have planned out in our heads. What if I told you that it is only the way we want it to work out, and not the way it was meant to work out? A prime example...when you cut your hair, you are losing hair, but for guys, gaining a fresh lining, an overall better look. For girls, we gain healthier hair follicles, a new refreshing look. It is okay to lose because what you gain will ALWAYS be better and more beneficial to you in the long run. Don't waste your time crying over what you have lost, but instead, appreciate the loss. Say thank you. If saying thank you is too much, think thank you. It is okay. You are okay. There is no such thing as success without failure. We all lose at some point in life. It is what you do in your time of loss that matters most, though. Will you wallow in it or be proactive about finding out the reason behind it? It is up to you.

Wallowing in your loss sets you back so far, child. Don't do that. KEEP IT MOVING! Explore the hurt, explore the loss. Accept it for what it is, then get into the nitty gritty. See in our lowest moments are when God is his strongest and shows us just how strong he is. He reveals insight to us in those times, but that's only if you are willing to recieve it. BE OPEN! Let the reason reveal itself to you. Don't sit in confusion. Been there, did that, and wasted a whole year of my life doing so. You know how much I could've gotten accomplished within that year? SOOOOOO MUCH!!! Instead, I let that hurt from losing so much take over me and lead me into depression, which in turn, led me to be just down righ miserable and it showed! I wish that for nobody, and that is why I am writing to encourage you.

I lost my sister at the age of 10. I don't like to talk about it much, because it instantly makes me emotional, but this is a pretty good example to use. She was innocently killed crossing the street by a drunk driver. I reflect on this traumatic experience more often these days because as an adult, I wonder what the dynamics of our relationship would have been. I think about having had the chance for her to pick out my outfits, talking to her about love, life, all that good stuff. Although the unexpected death of my sister was utterly horrifying for my whole family, it was not a total loss. You see, I am way more appreciative of the sister that I do have still on Earth and I take evey action that I can to cherish and appreciate her more than before, because honestly, before her passing we could not stand each other, but losing our big sister brought us closer than ever before.

With that being said, you lost that being for a reason. Whether it is a grandparent, mother, father, brother, friend, lover, child, etc....YOU LOST THEM FOR A REASON. Not saying that you didn't deserve them or that they didn't deserve you, but there is purpose in their absence. It is okay to long for it, but don't get lost in it. You are only hurting yourself. You were alive long before them and will continue to live in their absence. Prepare yourself for the next chance that you have to experience something similar, so you can be prepared. Turn that hurt and pain into something beautiful. I've lost people that I thought were my friends, a lover that I thought was going to be my husband, grandparents that I just knew would live forever, essentially my dad, and a host of other people that I just knew in my heart that would stick around forever. In losing these people, I lost hope, faith, focus, awareness, and most importantly...I lost MYSELF!

It is rather interesitng, though, because the gain after the loss is NEVER anything materialstic, however, everything that you need to sustain. I learned that I should always put myself first...following God that is. I learned to cherish those that do love, value, and appreciate me. I learned to cherish time with the real, neglecitng the fake. I gained control over my anxiety, a sense of self, a sense of wholeness. I regained my undying love of God and his power. I regained my capability to pray again, which once felt so foreign. You see, I lost myself, only to be found. I had to lose because being knocked down off of my high horse brought out a new me, a better me. God has rebuilt me to where I don't desire the things I once desired. He is still tweaking me in some areas that I am weak in, but I am thankful. Without the loss, there wouldn't have been any gain. I would have continued to lose and live a life I wasn't destined to live. These days, I enjoy asking God to break me down, and build me into who he wants to be...less of me and more of him.

Appreciate what you have lost. Appreciate the insight, knowledge, and wisdom that comes from it. I can lose with a smile on my face because losing has built up so much endurance in me. Nothing can stop me and I want you to feel the same way. In fact, I urge you to lose. Don't stop losing. Lose those expectations, lose the dead weight. Lose yourself because in losing yourself you will find who you truly are and what you are on this Earth to do will be revealed unto you. Lose yourself to be whole, to be you. You see...everything that you lose is not a loss.

Lose to win.

One of my favorite songs by Fantasia is Lose To Win..feel free to listen below.

-T. Renee'